mind of soundness
“contemplations”
this is the album of my wildest little girl dreams 🥰
and an album to celebrate the commencement of performing my songs live in Austin Texas 𖹭
something i never thought i would do nor have the courage for
thank you Austin Songwriting Community for being one of the most
beautiful groups of people i’ve ever met 💖
thank you for listening friends
with gratefulness & love
xoxo, shelby
—
lyrics
in order by track number below
—
track #1
ikigai: color your canvas of creation
there's a passion that sets every soul on fire
it comes from deep within, this imprinted desire
that will get you out of bed each morning
putting you in the constant search for the satisfying
you know, in japanese there's no word for retirement
don’t let older age be your stop sign
your ikigai is a rollercoaster for a lifetime
what's your ikigai?
it's your reason for living
gives you a sense of purpose
this vocation making it all worth it
all i want is a strong sense of ikigai
remember, it will never really be the right time
so now ask yourself a question
what’s your deepest love, your pusher of depression?
ikigai, will you hold my hand?
you’re the love of my life
til death do us part not
this vocation makes me feel alive
what's your ikigai?
it's your reason for living
gives you a sense of purpose
this vocation making it all worth it
go practice your ikigai
you'll sprout like a beautiful juniper bonsai
what fills your days with the most joy?
don't let life pass you by
well what do you think?
do you know what your ikigai is?
and if not it’s ok
but maybe it’s time to start contemplating
what makes you the most happy
everyday, this vocation
a blank canvas for creation
no matter what age you're groovin’
each day is a canvas for creation
go exercise your ikigai
it will matter in hindsight
ride in peace with your vocation
color your canvas of creation
don't let your life float by
exercise your ikigai
it's the reason you ask “why?”
and stay happy until you die 🌞
—
track #2
symphonic self-portrait *belle amour*
vacation separation
i missed you, resonating
deeply through rosewood
for life, my love affair
music spinning me in the air
not even therapy could heal me like this
the celestial beauty of a cosmic melody
these sounds float me around
the sun and the moon
high before noon
belle amour holding me hostage
she’s guilty for my symphonic self-portrait
—
track #3
war with my body
i don’t want to die someday
knowing i was always at war with my body
i don’t wanna lay on my deathbed
reliving where else i could have spent this energy
this overbearing shadow
planning the demise of my campaign
when if i just loved myself for who i am
i’d escape this rabbit-hole of shame
she’s got the chops but not the looks
your papayas are perfect but your mangos are far too small
i’m not putting up with this anorexic shit
8 years old i am told i need to see a nutritionist
what the fuck am i gonna do with that info
someone please teach me
hollywood said types 1 and 2 are correct
meaning types 3 to the billion are a defect
this industry planted shame with a secret seed
controlled by pocketed and sad greed
this world goes around for the sake of money
i’ve witnessed it, silently fired for of my body
oh how i wish we all approached life like gandhi
what would he say, for the sake of our mentality
8 years old, standing on the scale
we grew up poor, always eating a cheap meal
we shopped for shitty clothes that would never fit me
even when i was anorexic, others and i didn’t see me as skinny
will i ever fully love my body?
has anyone else?
it always amazes me
that no matter what your number
you’ll still be used & think you’re imperfect
are you at war with your body?
if so, who put it there? was it our ill society?
or the people around you who are
insecure and unaware?
body uplifters
thank you and i now have the courage
to join you in the advocating for body healing
to help change the world in ways
that will reflect directly in how every
little person grows up to see themselves
—
track #4
genetic disease
hereditary
genetically in my dna
i am fighting against the hardest thing
hundreds of years streaming through my veins
i do not fully blame you
we are all the victims here
years of passing down deadly traits
each path absent of self-reinvention
who'll be the ones to stop this?
i don’t know if anyone else can
some don’t have the capacity
to see life in this span
genetic disease
you take control over me
i undertake the responsibility
to use my wide perspective wisely
i accept the things i can’t control
in with the new, out with the old
gyan mudra, i slow
rising phoenix shimmering in gold
will i be able to stop this?
i don’t know
sometimes i don’t have the patience
for myself to grow
genetic disease
you don’t have control over me anymore
i am wise enough to
break myself free from this chain
and this pain
only by example will i
light this candles’ flame
only by finding it from within
will i heal and divide from my shame
only with deep self awareness
will i release these traits
only with deep self commitment
will this genetic disease refrain
—
track #5
no timeline
it's only others expectations
and the ill judgements of the world
that you compare yourself to
i don't have to impress you
you are not me
i won't sit here and ask you to
be someone you don't wanna be
for me, theres no timeline
i’m doing more than just fine
this is how i’ve always wanted to live my life
agree or not, it’s not your path to light
we’ve been making up the rules from the start
but the worlds big enough now as we are
to widen the stars that are followed afar
shame me with judgment
make me feel so low
but maybe it's you needing to adapt
the mindset of growth
it’s why they need to find you
on the highest of the low
to make themselves feel more powerful
for me, there is no timeline
i’m doing more than just fine
this is how i’ve always wanted to live my life
agree or not, but it’s not your path to light
not your place to say i’m wrong either
nothing nice to say, don’t even bother
live your life on your dream timeline
the end of life’s coming
enjoy this short grind
—
track #6
crying bell. crying belle
you just think you're right about everything
and no one can prove you wrong
you're clear it's just your perspective
but some deep hidden seed revolts
you think you've got it down
unknowingly knowingly
your way or the highway
your way or the highway
you disregard others like you disregard yourself
you don't even realize your doing the same thing
as all of the ones we worried about
as all of the ones who taught us this hell
as all of the ones who destroyed us
as all of the ones who neglected our crying bell
our crying belle
how many layers do i need to
rip off to get to the next character
how many circles do i need to run
to surrender, let it be, and take better care
—
track #7
blue light
quick appearance
self-righteousness
mindless thumb
scrolling us into the narcissist
blue light, trapping us
without any defense
rewiring our brains
and our sense of purpose
who am i without this?
without the social acceptance
of my every thought and action
my identity, blue light
swindle me while i
destroy my authenticity
so much work for a reveal
my mind is playing tricks on me
stolen time, stolen space
wasted time, wasted space
little taste, sparking haste
blue light, stealing our days
—
track #8
void
not distraction
not manipulation of time
not trying to save my from myself
is gonna fill it
not pasta and coffee and bread
not playing with the holistic
not having the mercedes benz
is gonna fill the
void, it's not gonna fill the
void, it's not gonna fill it
not hiding behind the cloak
and a thick cloud of smoke
not the champagne filled to the rim
not the next carcinogen
not meeting the love of my life
not staying up til im sleep deprived
not eating til i get thin
is gonna fill the
void, it’s not gonna fill the
void, it’s not gonna fill it
there's this inevitability
can we just sit with the unknown
can we just sit with the unknown
void
—
track #9
eastern state-of-mind
the west, for me, runs too abruptly
not one of our billion can seem to catch its tail
from the east to the west, culture-shock
it’s the eastern tempo, for me, that prevails
how many more fancy objects and
how much more attention
can we get our hands on before they are tied in knots
and even the ability to re-discover our true
selves has vanished completely
i want to be in an eastern state-of-mind
learn to let-go-of-this western hell-ish grind
non-violence and non-excess
as i observe and surrender to my shedding chrysalis
the west, i see, ran by wealth and envy
meditation we learn from the eastern breeze
to help slow down the speed of this country
in which no one trying to keep up can succeed
why can't we see through material
and our obsessions
that we hook our hands to like a fish taking the bait
and even the ability to reconcile has been muddled completely
i want to be in an eastern state-of-mind
learn to let-go-of-this western hell-ish grind
self-awareness and non-possessiveness
as i fight to live in a reality of my opposite
all around, there are glimpses of light
we bring a new culture unite
though the speed of great change is unfortunate
in my head, it's not up to them
it's not up to them
i want to be in an eastern state of mind
let's create it even though here you won't find
the four agreements
it's gotta be possible for a
mind of soundness
—
track #10
mother nature is my healer
mother nature is my healer
i'm at peace in the morning when i first hear her
the birdies are her best feature
her duetting healing pleaser
mother nature is my teacher
i’m at ease in the evening when i last see her
the sun & moon are her best features
her yin & yang healing pleasers
mother nature is my healer
neon flowers are her best feature
her green is my feeler
she's the real crowd pleaser
mother nature is my teacher
the rain, her best preacher
love, her best creature
beauty, her best feature
her
mother nature
—
track #11
more than just me
i don't wanna be too wrapped up in this world
i'm ok with being just an ordinary girl
i honestly never really thought that before
growing up i was tricked by the world
that i needed to be
something more than just me
that greed is more worthy than integrity
that i to needed to be
something more than just me
i'm always questioning reality
is this seriously what the world
was created to be
we're chasing dreams for others to redeem
what age was i when i was convinced
i had to be something
more than just me
i needed to succeed
by ways of greed
i needed to be
something more than just me
—
track #12
california vine
i've been waiting to meet her
this woman i view in the mirror
the woman i knew who'd have my back
after all of these crazy years
she love her wrinkles
appearing near her eyes
she likes them a lot, to her surprise
she loves seeing her curly silver hairs
wrapping her beautiful mind
only wiser through time-aging years
they all said aging is the worst
you’re life is over by thirties
you’ll be in pain and ambitionless
had i known 30 would be what it is
for so many years, i wouldn’t have worried
i'd have been looking forward to the future
and diving into more literature
trusting the next chapter
now i know and have made my peace
may this peace continue with me
never forgetting to be child-like
as i age like wine from a california vine
i only get better with age
as i age like wine from a california vine
i only get better with age
—
track #13
letting it go
nikita said let it hurt, let it bleed
let it heal, and let it go, but now i see
the problem is i let it hurt, let it bleed
think i heal, and “let it go” doesn’t receive
the chance it need to help my hands
navigate these stand and trying lands
my mind is lost and all i want
is to experience with “letting it go” feels like
maybe today i can take the chance to practice
what nakita is so wisely preaching
i wonder what it’s like to live a life
without this constant demolition of myself
i wonder what it would feel like
to truly give myself the gift of
letting it go, letting it go
please become the one i know
the one i feel, the one i see
the only i feel, the one i see
inspired by the quote by poet nikita gill:
“let it hurt, let it bleed, let it heal, and let it go
—
track #14
dandelion day
it’s literally not that big of a deal
let the thought pass like a cloud in the sky
it can be harder on a rainy day
when the dark sits around deepening
and it seems like the rain will never go away
never go away
but then there’s another day
a day like tomorrow, like yesterday
when the clouds were floating by
like dandelion pappus in the wind
and nothing could take the place
of this breath, fire, and freeness
a day with the dandelions
is one to remember
so wrap up in the palm of your hands
and never let it go
for when the world seems like glass
shattering all around and in you
we shall reach in our back pockets
and pull out the dandelion day
remembering grace is on the way
for another day until my dandelion day
—
track #15
kintsukuroi: beautifully broken
fill my lost dreams with gold
fill my broken heart with gold
beautifully broken
kintsukuroi
none of us are innately broken
we were trained and
unemotionally taken care of
we actually never had a day
until one day we got
to take our fate into our own hands
kintsukuroi
fill my broken heart with gold
until im whole again
until im whole again
until i'm whole again
i'm whole again
whole again
whole again
💖💖💖
xoxo